This picture captures some of my thoughts this evening.
We had a set of missionaries in our home a few weeks ago. They asked us to participate in a special social media event, to share with others why we have chosen to follow Jesus Christ. We agreed, and these verses from the Book of Mormon provide a framework for what I am feeling:
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
I read these to Isaac and Joseph tonight before reading Isaac his bedtime story. I was immediately "convicted by the Spirit" because tonight was one of those nights that belongs in the "Joe's Bad Parenting Hall of Fame."
The specific incident doesn't matter. What matters is that my behavior did not emulate what is depicted above. In His life, and in the time after His resurrection, Jesus Christ personified the attribute of charity. He showed perfect love, and this was especially evident in His teachings and treatment of children.
As a parent, I have the privilege of teaching and raising my children. I love them more than I can adequately express. Sometimes I allow my concern and frustration, sometimes about unimportant things, to overshadow and overtake the admonition to have charity. I reject that perfect, patient, not easily-provoked love in favor of righteous indignation and the demands of justice (as I see it).
What a hollow and foolish choice. In the end, it leaves you empty, because you have forced out love in favor of fleeting and unfulfilling ambitions, like my desire to modify Isaac's then undesirable behavior.
I'm not much for airing out my failings and errors in a public setting. For one, it would take too much time, but also because I like to share positive things about me and my life. However this experience can serve a higher purpose for a few reasons:
1. By recording it, hopefully I will be better able to avoid repeating it.
2. It will help me explain why I follow Jesus Christ.
The key, important aspect of #2 is that Christ is divine, the Son of God. I have a deep conviction that this is true. This conviction includes my belief that His life and His attributes are worthy of emulation. I want to try and be like Him. In fact, He has told us to be Perfect, even as He and his Father are perfect.
Part of that perfection is Charity. I follow Christ because I want to possess charity, as explained in the scriptures. I want to feel and express that perfect love, for all people, but especially for my family. I want to be a constant source of that love, so that my children never have reason to doubt my love for them, and in turn, God's love for them.
I follow Christ because the only way to gain that attribute is by accepting my need for his grace, won through the atonement that he carried out for all men and women. His suffering on our behalf was universal, even if man's acceptance would not be. He endured all things. How much simpler it should be for me to endure those small things that my wonderful children occasionally inflict upon me?
Still, despite the simplicity, I fail and again. So I follow Christ because each and every day I do something that requires repentance, and repentance comes only in and through the atonment wrought by Jesus Christ.
I follow him because I have to. I am grateful that I am able to, and I thank Him for the charity that he has shown for me, in spite of my many failings.
Here's to being at least a little better tomorrow, for Him and for them.